Updated: Jan 13, 2020
I may talk about sex once a year on the blog, mostly because it is easily a hot topic/button conversation and to be quite frank, I do try not to be click bait for the sake of click bait. I don't want to bash church culture and the way we talk about sex, and I don't think it's helpful to wax nostalgic about the good times we never should have had.
Sex is one of those things that the Bible is very clear on.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9, 10
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints
I know, I know, it's so old fashioned. Who waits for marriage to have sex anymore? It's not that big of a deal, sex is natural and deserves to be enjoyed. Like a little white lie, it doesn't hurt anybody. Stay safe, be responsible, and all will be right with the world.
Let's get this thing straight, sex is one of those things in the Bible that a lot of us have opposing opinions about. It is certainly one of the great dividers. It's one of those things that we exclude from our belief system and is often one of the first places people point out when they say they believe the Bible, except for that part.
But the thing is, either you believe God, or you don't. Either the Bible is the holy and infallible Word of God or it isn't.
So then, what our sex lives (or lack thereof) look like is not just a matter of personal opinion, it then becomes a challenge to our very salvation. This is true not because sex is inherently bad (it isn't), it's because sex becomes the gateway to denying the authority that God's Word should have over our lives. It allows for our feelings to be the filter by which we live out our salvation.
We don't feel as though it's that deep and God knows our hearts so, we're excused from having to follow this mandate. And if I can justifiably fornicate, I can also choose who, when and how many times I will forgive someone. If I don't have to forgive people who have wronged me, I am allowed to execute my own judgement and penance and further and further down the rabbit hole we go.
Choosing to have sex outside of the context of marriage, no matter what secular society has conditioned us to believe, is actually a big deal.
Sex is an act of covenant between a man and a woman, first described in Genesis 2:24,
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
There is a reason that even secular society acknowledges sex as consummation of a marriage union. That is to say, that if you go to the Justice of the Peace and say your vows but never go home and have sex with your spouse then legally you can have that marriage annulled, effectively erased as if it never happened.
This essentially defines sex outside of marriage a series of casual covenants, and is there even really such a thing?
When you take the time to read the Bible for yourself and understand God's design for you and your life it begins to make more sense to follow His will above all others. This includes His mandate for celibacy/abstinence.
In the previous posts about sex (Call a Spade and Tame Your Flesh ), the posts focus on not having sex, reasons we justify having sex, and ways to avoid sex. I wanted to delve a little deeper this time and hopefully help make God's instructions for us a little clearer.
Lastly, fornication is no greater a sin than any other sin. Romans 3:23-24 says,
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
Which is to say that just like any other time when we fall from grace, repentance is the solution and salvation our cure for all that would come to drive us away from God and His purpose for our life.
At the end of the day, sex is the epitome of a feel good sin and if on a very basic level, we can discipline ourselves in this aspect of our lives, how much more will we be able to focus on what God has for us and what He's given us to do?