Hypothetical scenario: Jo (tried my best to pick a unisex name), young person, early twenties, single. Not really looking to settle down with anyone, or get married anytime soon, but definitely loves sex. With Jo's sexual partners, Jo is always up-front and honest with them about intentions. I mean as long Jo isn't dishonest, cheating, or hurting anyone's feelings, it's okay, right?
I'm sure you all thought the same thing too, because as young Christians we are told that sex is reserved for married couples. And I'm sure a lot of us get it, but let's be honest. Sex feels great, and why not have as much sex as we can with as many people as we can before we're tied down to one person for the rest of our lives?
Let's talk about taming the flesh.
Having all types of sex with all types of people may seem like the best thing in the world - but only for a moment. When you finally decide to settle down and court someone, as much as your intentions are pure and upstanding, as much as you'd want to wait for marriage, and as much as you'd just want to do right, it will not work. When you feed your flesh, and not your spirit (or your mind), you will live by the cravings of your flesh. So if you spent weeks, months, and years having sex whenever you wanted with whomever you wanted, what makes you think that you won't cheat on your significant other? Your need to have consistent sex will result in you being unfaithful to the person you are in a relationship with.
"So getting married should solve the issue right? That way I could have sex all the time and all will be well!"
Getting married to have sex without conviction won't work. Your spouse could give you sex every day, multiple times a day, and it still won't work. Why? Cause wifey probably isn't riding it the way Susy did, and hubby ain't hitting it the way Bobby used to. Because there are so many past experiences to compare your spouse's performance to, the same issues will remain in marriage. In Ecclesiastes 1:8, Solomon tells us that we are never satisfied, and if you know the story of Solomon, I'd take his words in this book pretty seriously. (If you don't know his story, a reading of the books 1 Kings and 2 Chronicles will tell you everything you need to know, and then some.)
At the end of the day, it is an issue of self control. If you've never mastered controlling your body before deciding to court or marry someone, you'll bring those issues with you into your well intentioned relationships. We have to learn to nip it in the bud.
It's MUCH easier said than done, though. Look, I fall hard and often, so I know the struggle. But the Bible does give us a lot of tips that help. The majority of the New Testament are literal letters that Paul wrote to people of the early church who struggled with the same things that we struggle with now. Paul himself had some issues. He talks about the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 (self-control is one of them!) and dying (killing the flesh) daily in 1 Corinthians 15:31. I also think it's super helpful to speak, or confide in someone who has overcome what you are struggling with. When I feel like it is just impossible to overcome my sin, hearing someone else's story helps me to see that it is, in fact, entirely possible through Christ. I mean, the Bible says in Revelation 12:11 that we will overcome by the blood and the word of testimonies.
The most important thing though, is to pray. Be honest to God and ask for His help. Even if that sounds something like "God, I love sex, but I know it isn't something I should be doing, help me," it's still a start.
But real quick, let me take it just one step further.
Taming the flesh is so much more than just sex - we are talking about any urges or desires that we just give in to, instead of resisting the temptation. So, let's say, if unhealthy junk food is your weakness, a prayer like "Jesus, McDonalds tastes so good, but I know eating it every day is so bad for me. Help me lose my cravings for it" would help too, as long as you really mean it. James 5:16 tells us that a prayer of faith has a lot of power.
It isn't going to be easy, but I can assure you, overcoming sin is so worth it. Pray for me, as I pray for all of you. God bless.
All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
1 Corinthians 15:31
I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
About the Author:
Lover of Jesus, food and music. Follow @clidneyj on Instagram!